Dissolution
by CheeseCannons
Summary: Three Baltic nations declare their independence from the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics. All of the other republics soon follow the Baltic republics's example.


March, 1990

"Mr. Russia, sir," began a shaken Lithuania, "My brothers and I would like to declare independence."

"CHTO?" exclaimed Russia. "TY IDYODTY. KAK."

"Russia. Let the Baltic states have their independence," said Gorbachyev. "We've wrongfully annexed them after the Great Patriotic War. They have the right to be independent."

"No, no etot sovyetskii territoriya."

"No buts, Russia. Just let them be independent."

"Horosho." Russia turned to the Baltic republics, "You are all free now."

Lithuania teared up. This was the day he has been waiting for the last 60 years. He was finally free along with his "Baltic" brothers (Estonia considered himself to be Nordic).

"Thank you, sir. Thank you so much."

Lithuania signalled his brothers to leave, since he feared that Russia could regret and take back his decision any time.

**A year later…**

"FUCK YOU, RUSSIA!" screamed an unhappy Georgia, "I DON'T WANT YOU TO DICTATE MY COUNTRY!"

"Says the one whose citizen massacred 40 million of our union's people."

Georgia's eyes widened. "DON'T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT THAT BASTARD. WE GEORGIANS ARE ASHAMED OF HIM AS WELL. DIDN'T HE KILL OUR OWN COUNTRYMEN TOO?"

Russia sighed. "Whatever, Georgia. I'm tired of your shit. Get the fuck out of my union."

"Happily."

**Five months later…**

"Russia-chan?"

"Yes, Ukraine?"

"Belarus, Moldova and I would like to be independent."

"BIG BROTHER," said a misty eyed Belarus, "It's not what I want. It's what my people want. We will become one. WE WILL BECOME ONE."

Russia drank some vodka. He swallowed, savouring the burning sensation which warmed his innards.

"Finally… Belarus, you're leaving. Ukraine, your fields aren't enough to feed the whole fucking union. We had to accept aid from that American and his little wannabe club called NATO. _Hic_." Russia laughed. "Moldova, you're Latin. You're not even Slavic. I don't like and want your wine. Have you ever heard of vodka?" Russia spat on Moldova. "You three are nothing but a nuisance."

Ukraine began to cry. Moldova patted her on the back, muttering words of encouragement to stop the Ukrainian woman from crying. All three of the nations left Russia's house.

**Three days later…**

Azerbaijan, Kyrgyzstan and Uzbekistan all stood in front of Russia's office. Azerbaijan stepped forward, extended a hand, and knocked twice on the door.

"Come in."

"Russia," stated Azerbaijan, "can we control our own energy exports? You basically take all the profit for only the Russian SSR. You don't even care about us."

"My people are all starving and lack basic sanitary conditions because you failed us, Russia." said Kyrgyzstan, "You've failed us. You promised to us when we overthrew Nikolas II that we would prosper and poverty would be exterminated."

"What do we have now?" inquired Uzbekistan, "We have widespread poverty."

"No. You are all my territory and you would all have to obey my rules." said Russia sternly.

"Well then," said Azerbaijan.

"We would like to," added Kyrgyzstan.

"Declare independence," said Uzbekistan, glaring at Russia.

"Kolkolkolkolkol. You three are pathetic. Go away, worthless shit." Russia punched Azerbaijan, whom staggered backwards. "_Suki_."

**December, 1991 **

Tajikistan, Armenia, Turkmenistan and Kazakhstan stood outside Russia's office.

Kazakhstan stepped forward and knocked on Russia's door.

"Kto?"

"The Republics of Kazakhstan, Tajikistan, Armenia and Turkmenistan," said Kazakhstan in a monotonic voice.

"Bozhe moi. Don't tell me that you want that."

"Exactly, imperialist bastard. We want our independence!" exclaimed an angry Tajikistan.

"Ungrateful tartar bastards," muttered Russia. "Without MY help, you would've been incorporated into China."

Armenia snorted. "Yeah, and with your help, we're incorporated into Russian territory."

"_Soviet_ territory," Russia corrected.

"Too bad. We're not your territory anymore. It's just you now," said Turkmenistan tugging at his moustache, "Even your dear sisters left you. You should be grateful for us. We're the last ones that are leaving."

"Fine. Have it your way. Don't come crawling back to me for help after a few years.

"We won't," said the Central Asian republics, in perfect unison.

**25 December, 1991. Christmas Day**

Lithuania, Latvia, Estonia, Georgia, Ukraine, Belarus, Moldova, Azerbaijan, Kyrgyzstan, Uzbekistan, Tajikistan, Armenia, Turkmenistan and Kazakhstan stood outside Russia's house.

The snow blew onto their faces while they stood there, staring into the former residence called the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics. They could see a silhouette of Russia in his office, drinking from a bottle of something, probably vodka.

Ukraine sighed, "I wonder if Russia-chan is okay."

"The bastard grew up in a frozen wasteland, obviously he's okay," said Georgia, still angry.

"Merry Christmas, everyone!"

The fourteen republics looked behind them to gaze at Finland, in his signature Santa costume.

"FINLAND!"

"Hello, Estonia, Lithuania, Ukraine, everyone," grinned Finland, "I'm happy that you all finally gained independence from that Russian bastard." Finland shrugged, thinking back of the memories of the Winter War and the Continuation War.

The 15 former Russian republics stood in the snow, rejoicing that they were all now free from Russian control.


End file.
